What were the things I held dear? Foremost was my love for the academics. As soon as I had good awareness of what life should be, I'd say I had pursued my dream to be in the academia. Although I believed in God and had a religion, these had not been my top priorities. My highest dream was to be a member of the Academy of Sciences. I believed I was cut out to study, study, and study still and if I would just be persever-ant and diligent, I knew would get there in no time. My efforts were not in vain. I would say I had fairly made a name in science.
That was like decades ago.For a Ph D graduate like me then, there was always the pressure to publish. If I wouldn't, then I was academically doomed. I perish! I'd say I had enough scientific publications, not to mention the countless confidential technical reports I made for chemical companies here in Australia, to be included in Who's Who In the World, and Who's Who Etc.
After I left my career to look after my aging and sick mother, I occassionally googled out of curiosity my name in the internet--Hmm...I was still there. I believed this to be the result of my webpage on dust mites which gained recognition foremost by Discovery Channel School Magazine at the first instance when I uploaded it in the internet. My webpage and sometimes my name in line with big institutes and universities had been cited by different websites of industries as a reference to boost their claim for the effectiveness of their product against dust mites. The number of emails I received through my webpage was huge, sometimes, even clogging my inbox, as the Administrator termed it in one of his emails to me. Among these, which made my ego a bit huge, was from a company in Rhodes Islands offering me some fees to test and eventually endorse their pillow protector against dust mites in the market and also from a radio person in Arkansas asking me if I could be interviewed. Needless to say, I got countless emails from average people consulting me regarding their allergy to dust mites and its allergen. I told to myself then, Ah... I was still alive.
In the beginning of this year,though, I googled my name in a playful mood, and Alas! My name was nonexistent I was unlisted from E-Acarology list of Publications, whatever it was called. I could not remember anymore. For a while, I wondered when I perished....
My rational self however retorted, does it really matter?" Was my career the thing that matter most? NO! Is it my house and my receding bank balance? NO! Is it my family I always hold dear? The answer is still a big NO! One by one they just 'go', like surprised bombshells in my tranquil life. I lost my beloved big brothers, my big sisters, I lost my father...I do not know what the future holds. I do not know whether I will outlive the remaining members of my family or they will outlive me... Either way is a very sad thing. And if I could wish... I wish none of these will happen and we will all meet Jesus together in the air.
I made the video Knowing You using David Bird's guitar rendition. I meditate whenever I listen to it. I also read the lyrics of the song through and through until it occurred to me...
all I once held dear, YES!
all the world reveres,and wars to won ...
All I thought was gain, I have counted lost
Spent and worthless now compared to this---
Knowing You Jesus, knowing You
there is no greater thing,
You're my all, you're the best
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love you Lord..
How else can I say it? Indeed, there is no greater thing than to know Jesus. I will lose everything, everyone, but Jesus in my life remains. Earthly friends and even my family will fail me, but Jesus never will! No, He never will!
Yes, Jesus is my ALL, my JOY, and my RIGHTEOUSNESS.
a silhouette of myself in my life-long pursuit to know me and how I relate to others so that God in my life will be glorified...
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Delmar-my You Tube Channel
I did not know I have a channel in You Tube. I believe it was Renren, my nephew who created it using my account. He used to come to my house on a Thursday last year before he attended his next class in the university. He named the channel after my father who passed away on May 10, 2010. I thought he must have truly been missing my father.
Why wouldn't he? My father, whom he called Lolo, had always been involved in his life when he was still a young boy. They were neighbours. When he was really young young, my father used to walk him to school. After school, my father also used to make him snack--two fried eggs with bread, rice or noodles. In spite of a bad leg, his Lolo also never failed to go to his school to see him participate in school sports events or other school programs. Furthermore, his Lolo never missed going to his presentations at the end of school year, after which each time, both of them happily walked home--his Lolo a proud man because his grandson got the Ducks award.
When Renren became a young man, his friendship with his Lolo continued. Since my father moved house, Renren every now and then, had been his frequent visitor. When his Lolo's health deteriorated, Renren became involved in looking after him, being a company to him, sometimes even driving him to the doctor when there was no available driver. He also looked after him and tarried with him at times in various situations when his Lolo became confined in the hospital.
One nice thing Renren does, to my surprise, is his visits to his grandfather's tomb every now and then on his own. On special occassions, he also bring flowers for his grandfather.
Well the above is the backgound to my existing channel which I did not know I have until May 21 of 2011, when I first uploaded the video I made for my sister Daisy for her birthday. In this video, I used as background music my sister's own interpretation of the song, Hahanapin Kita, which I myself love to sing. I posted this video first on facebook and when I posted it on You Tube the second time, I got a strong reaction from my sister. Probably because such video was truly sort of private viewing because people would love to listen more to Anthony Castelo than her. I told her,though, that I just tried uploading video in You Tube as I did not know how to do it then, but know now, of course.
Having quite a bit of fun, I uploaded next the video I made using my brother Art's singing of one of song I often watch on the documentation of the editions we had of the Christian Ministry my family and I organised in the 1990s. In making it, I listened to the lyrics of the song and jotted them down. Art actually missed one phrase in singing the song, I realised it now because I sort of already got a good grasp of the song. But it was not very obvious, though. This is easily overlooked because my brother has got a good singing voice. In fact he was my top favourite singer then next to Joel Navarro.
I was happy I got this channel because of ease in being able to listen or watch my own videos on my tHub tablet. These videos are documentations of the things we did as family using as background music that meant a lot to me. As I eventually learn to create playlists, the more I became a happy You Tube user. I made playlists of my own videos which essentially are my favourite Christian songs, Celebrating Jesus, etc and also playlists of my parents'favourite songs. I also have a playlist which I called For my sisters with much affection, 3 of whict are still private videos because I have not asked my two sisters if they are happy for me to uploaded them. (I posted them originally of facebook). I told to myself WoW! Isn't this real fun--having learned a bit more other features of You Tube.
At the moment, I have uploaded 23 videos, 9 of which are for private viewing. As I have become a You Tube user more, I learned other things...When I look at other channels and see millions views of their uploaded videos, I was sort of disheartened because it would be like a million years and probably the views of my videos will still be just hundreds.
When I recall to my mind however, that my channel has been more for my own enjoyment, I learned to calm down and relax.
I said once more another WoW! Wny, because I got one more interesting thing to do as I enjoy my semi-retiring days. Thanks to my nephew who signed up for me. Thanks also to You Tube!
Listening to my playlists makes my chores delightful.
Why wouldn't he? My father, whom he called Lolo, had always been involved in his life when he was still a young boy. They were neighbours. When he was really young young, my father used to walk him to school. After school, my father also used to make him snack--two fried eggs with bread, rice or noodles. In spite of a bad leg, his Lolo also never failed to go to his school to see him participate in school sports events or other school programs. Furthermore, his Lolo never missed going to his presentations at the end of school year, after which each time, both of them happily walked home--his Lolo a proud man because his grandson got the Ducks award.
When Renren became a young man, his friendship with his Lolo continued. Since my father moved house, Renren every now and then, had been his frequent visitor. When his Lolo's health deteriorated, Renren became involved in looking after him, being a company to him, sometimes even driving him to the doctor when there was no available driver. He also looked after him and tarried with him at times in various situations when his Lolo became confined in the hospital.
One nice thing Renren does, to my surprise, is his visits to his grandfather's tomb every now and then on his own. On special occassions, he also bring flowers for his grandfather.
Well the above is the backgound to my existing channel which I did not know I have until May 21 of 2011, when I first uploaded the video I made for my sister Daisy for her birthday. In this video, I used as background music my sister's own interpretation of the song, Hahanapin Kita, which I myself love to sing. I posted this video first on facebook and when I posted it on You Tube the second time, I got a strong reaction from my sister. Probably because such video was truly sort of private viewing because people would love to listen more to Anthony Castelo than her. I told her,though, that I just tried uploading video in You Tube as I did not know how to do it then, but know now, of course.
Having quite a bit of fun, I uploaded next the video I made using my brother Art's singing of one of song I often watch on the documentation of the editions we had of the Christian Ministry my family and I organised in the 1990s. In making it, I listened to the lyrics of the song and jotted them down. Art actually missed one phrase in singing the song, I realised it now because I sort of already got a good grasp of the song. But it was not very obvious, though. This is easily overlooked because my brother has got a good singing voice. In fact he was my top favourite singer then next to Joel Navarro.
I was happy I got this channel because of ease in being able to listen or watch my own videos on my tHub tablet. These videos are documentations of the things we did as family using as background music that meant a lot to me. As I eventually learn to create playlists, the more I became a happy You Tube user. I made playlists of my own videos which essentially are my favourite Christian songs, Celebrating Jesus, etc and also playlists of my parents'favourite songs. I also have a playlist which I called For my sisters with much affection, 3 of whict are still private videos because I have not asked my two sisters if they are happy for me to uploaded them. (I posted them originally of facebook). I told to myself WoW! Isn't this real fun--having learned a bit more other features of You Tube.
At the moment, I have uploaded 23 videos, 9 of which are for private viewing. As I have become a You Tube user more, I learned other things...When I look at other channels and see millions views of their uploaded videos, I was sort of disheartened because it would be like a million years and probably the views of my videos will still be just hundreds.
When I recall to my mind however, that my channel has been more for my own enjoyment, I learned to calm down and relax.
I said once more another WoW! Wny, because I got one more interesting thing to do as I enjoy my semi-retiring days. Thanks to my nephew who signed up for me. Thanks also to You Tube!
Listening to my playlists makes my chores delightful.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Remembering Mina
26 November. This was the birthday of my sister Myrna whom we all fondly called Mina.
Mina was the second eldest in our family. Unlike Ate, my eldest sister, Mina was responsible and serious. She was like a second mother to all of us who were younger in the family tree.
I could not forget the day when she did my hair so nicely when I was in grade2. She told me I had to look good because our class was going to have a class picture. She told me to smile when the cameraman finish counting up to three and take the shot. As young, shy and moody as I was, I did not. When I got the picture, she said it was okay and it was not so bad.
Mina's movie idols were Susan Roces and Eddie Gutierrez. She collected photos of the love team and would like so much to go to the cinema to see their movies. However, our father was very strict. He was like our Board of Censor. If we were so keen to see a movie, he first watched the movie himself to see if it was suitable for us to watch. Furthermore, we were not allowed to go to the cinema in the first place, unless he was with us.
One time, however, Mina with my Ate, took me to a second class theatre which showed double program. The movie she was keen to watch then was called Maruja which starred Susan Roces and Romeo Vasquez. As there was another movie, we came home at sundown. My sisters were shocked when we got home because at the door was our father whose face as we figuratively say it was un-paintable.
Ate, began reasoning out, but got a slap on the face. Mina was quiet. When it was her turn to get slapped, she fell straight down to the floor with her eyes closed. Our father furiously lectured to them. I was scared too, but I was young to be slapped and lectured to.
After a few days later when we recalled the episode with a touch of humour, my older cousins said it was surprising because Mina who was the perfect kid, whom they also said was my father's favourite, was in the end not really exempted from the rod. That is, as Mina rarely got lectured to and disciplined.
Mina was not just my big sister but my friend. As young as I was, she shared with me her secrets, particularly about her teenage crush in school by the name of Ruben Perez.
From hindsight, I supposed she also must have wanted to go out with Ruben. But our father's rule was books first, boys last. One time, however, Ruben with his friend Nick who I think got a crush on my Ate, came to visit. Of all days, however, the boys shouldn't have come that day. Why? my father who worked as a mobile patrol police happened to be at home. He regularly stopped by our house anytime he saw fit.
I saw the disappointment on my sister's face when she heard my father who answered the door, told the boys, "No one in his household is sick and therefore, is in no need of any visitors."
Mina survived this heart-breaking episode. After all, she was just a young girl. And she had all of us-- our parents who loved her and we, who were not only her siblings but her friends. Her love for music, singing, drawing, household chores and life put her back on track.
As my parents ran retail businesses and botique, Mina, as well, as my Ate and my big brother Abner, became involved in these. Soon my father gave her a mixed shop to run on her own. The shop was called Mina's Shop and Save Store.
The above is but just a little piece of my huge and fond memory of my beloved sister whom we all lost on 2 November 1979. I wish I could write more... but other things have copyrights in heaven.
This is a video I created in memory of my beloved sister Mina
Mina was the second eldest in our family. Unlike Ate, my eldest sister, Mina was responsible and serious. She was like a second mother to all of us who were younger in the family tree.
I could not forget the day when she did my hair so nicely when I was in grade2. She told me I had to look good because our class was going to have a class picture. She told me to smile when the cameraman finish counting up to three and take the shot. As young, shy and moody as I was, I did not. When I got the picture, she said it was okay and it was not so bad.
Mina's movie idols were Susan Roces and Eddie Gutierrez. She collected photos of the love team and would like so much to go to the cinema to see their movies. However, our father was very strict. He was like our Board of Censor. If we were so keen to see a movie, he first watched the movie himself to see if it was suitable for us to watch. Furthermore, we were not allowed to go to the cinema in the first place, unless he was with us.
One time, however, Mina with my Ate, took me to a second class theatre which showed double program. The movie she was keen to watch then was called Maruja which starred Susan Roces and Romeo Vasquez. As there was another movie, we came home at sundown. My sisters were shocked when we got home because at the door was our father whose face as we figuratively say it was un-paintable.
Ate, began reasoning out, but got a slap on the face. Mina was quiet. When it was her turn to get slapped, she fell straight down to the floor with her eyes closed. Our father furiously lectured to them. I was scared too, but I was young to be slapped and lectured to.
After a few days later when we recalled the episode with a touch of humour, my older cousins said it was surprising because Mina who was the perfect kid, whom they also said was my father's favourite, was in the end not really exempted from the rod. That is, as Mina rarely got lectured to and disciplined.
Mina was not just my big sister but my friend. As young as I was, she shared with me her secrets, particularly about her teenage crush in school by the name of Ruben Perez.
From hindsight, I supposed she also must have wanted to go out with Ruben. But our father's rule was books first, boys last. One time, however, Ruben with his friend Nick who I think got a crush on my Ate, came to visit. Of all days, however, the boys shouldn't have come that day. Why? my father who worked as a mobile patrol police happened to be at home. He regularly stopped by our house anytime he saw fit.
I saw the disappointment on my sister's face when she heard my father who answered the door, told the boys, "No one in his household is sick and therefore, is in no need of any visitors."
Mina survived this heart-breaking episode. After all, she was just a young girl. And she had all of us-- our parents who loved her and we, who were not only her siblings but her friends. Her love for music, singing, drawing, household chores and life put her back on track.
As my parents ran retail businesses and botique, Mina, as well, as my Ate and my big brother Abner, became involved in these. Soon my father gave her a mixed shop to run on her own. The shop was called Mina's Shop and Save Store.
The above is but just a little piece of my huge and fond memory of my beloved sister whom we all lost on 2 November 1979. I wish I could write more... but other things have copyrights in heaven.
This is a video I created in memory of my beloved sister Mina
Friday, November 4, 2011
I thank you Lord I belong to a family
Oh how beautiful is the colour variation of bougainvillea! Every time I see their bracts—white, red, pink orange and yellow, I tend to think of the family I belong to. And when I think of them Lord, I also think of love--because I learn a lot about loving through them.
Am I not blessed to have a mother who trudge one subdivision after another to get me different bract colours of bougainvillea for my genetics class? And could you imagine her catching grasshoppers with me, too and searching for turtle and dead shark?
As for my father, God… did he think I was still 15 years old that he still went with me to get a medical certificate? Why? I was already a postgraduate student then!
Haha! For my father and mother, my siblings and I will always be like their little children in need of help and support.
Lord, it gladdens my heart to belong to parents like them. I thank you forever for them.
And I thank you also for my brothers and my sisters--for Art, Cynthia and Merle whom I go out with to attend concerts and plays and sing praises and share your love to others over plains, valleys and mountains; and also do some crude baking and roasting.
I thank you also for Rommel who runs an errand for me whenever I want to eat Ebisen and for being able to compute my income tax return.
Just the same God, I thank you for Nimrod, my intelligent brother and comrade who talk to me about rockets, booby traps, submarines and the Sinos. Haha! Did he think I want to go to war?
Am I not so blessed? I don’t only have five siblings but more…!! WoW! Amazing indeed to belong to a large family! My siblings are not just my brothers and sisters but also my friends!
Thank you for Mina, Abner, Delmar Jr, too-- Mina who shared with me the little smiles and tremendous pains about life; Abner who skillfully drew for me Magellan, Marcelo H. del Pilar and Gregorio del Pilar; and Delmar, Jr., my bed-ridden brother who taught all of us to be loving and caring. But I tell you Lord…I get so hurt every time I think of them. The thought of their tragic deaths always bring tremendous pain in my heart that I cry, cry and cry….How I wish they were still around!
But then what can I do? But just grow strong and brave to accept things as they are… Life is made of tears, but also comfort and joy...
Lord, I thank you also for Daisy with whom I had shared jackets and jeans, Big Mac and coke and of course basketball games to fight over with when her Motorola team wins over my Crispa. I wish she did not have to fly to Australia because I miss her so, particularly her frowning and crying face whenever my Crispa team win over Motorola.
And I thank you just the same for my Ate. I quarrel with her too! Am I bad? But she was so spoiled!!!! Spoiled by our grandma! How my ears hurt everytime she speaks coarse language! Even then through her worst also shines a little kindness that touches my heart. So I love her just the same, God. You know I do, God.
My family isn’t really that fantastic as you are fully aware, Father. Sometimes we laugh a lot. We sing, cry and pray together. But when we discuss issues in our round table…My! We shout, fight and cry! We do not sound like a family at all! I am sorry to say.
I thank You God because your grace is sufficient, however. After awhile we all can forgive each other and forget about all the fights. Then once more, we are a family again who talk a lot, laugh, sing, eat and pray.
Glory be to You, Lord who binds us together in love and perfect unity.
(From L.R. Blanco’s My Life’s Journal, 1984)
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Bare Trees
How could I take pleasure in them?
How could my heart skip a beat as I see a landscape of them?
What is so special about them?
Could it be the backdrop of this blue river
or the blue sky streaked with fluffy clouds?
or their earthly tones and the array of winter flowers
or extensive green grass underneath them?
I think I know--bare as they are yet they paint
a picturesque rustic romance.
Yes, I think I know-bare as they are yet they create
a spiritual solace in my mind and searching soul.
And one more thing...I know when spring comes
they will come alive like me...
when the winter cold is over.
From L.R.Blanco's Strings of Words and Solitude
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Myself (1)
striving for victory
over self-centeredness.
*****
a genetic entity.
*****
an outcast full of inadequacies
*****
a loner,
more of an introvert,
prudent in everything
****
saved by God's grace
****
a student of the Bible till Jesus returns
***
over self-centeredness.
*****
a genetic entity.
*****
an outcast full of inadequacies
*****
a loner,
more of an introvert,
prudent in everything
****
saved by God's grace
****
a student of the Bible till Jesus returns
***
Friday, October 21, 2011
To A Beloved Friend
There's nothing much I can remember about you and me.
We've known each other for eight long months,
have gone to places with Christian friends we both love
sung anthems, hymns and praises to God
strolled in the parks under the dome of blue skies
shared nice and bad foods in nearby restaurants
waited for hours for the last bus
laughed at little things and cried over some petty quarrels.
What else have I got to remember?
Nothing more.
This world was not meant for you and me.
If it was--
I could have sung a joyful song,
I could have filled the empty pages of my life
I couldn't have cried alone in the rain
or chased a bluebird and then lost it in bitter despair.
No, there's nothing much between us--
except for that dream now lost in gray clouds.
From L.R. Blanco's Strings of Words and Solitude
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