Reaping a Rich Reward

I have lived in such a way that I do not deliberately hurt anyone.  By the same token, I  have tried the best way possible to maintain peace with everyone. Although, I must admit that in times of provocations, there have been a few times when I lose my control.  God forgive me!

Not that I consider myself better than anyone...because I know I am not. I'm only different.  There are things that people dare  do that I don't even dream of doing, particularly if I could see that these pose risk to my health, my reputation, my safety and most of all, jeopardise my standing before God and all the people close to my heart.  I seem to have my own piece of mind about anything and I tend to stick to it by all means--never mind what other people may say.  I want to be happy with myself that's why. 

I do not exist to please others for the simple reason that I have found it to be one of the impossibilities in this world.  Thus, I believe that one way to feel miserable is to try to please others, if not everyone. Having said this, however, I can confidently say I am not  self-centred. No, not at all (!) Since I became a Christian, I learned that JOY means Jesus first, Others second and You (myself) last.

James said faith without good works is dead. Paul said to work out our salvation with trembling. He also said he had fight the good fight of faith...

Have I not followed in their footsteps? Have I not striven to be like Jesus every step of the way? I definitely have!  But then being a Christian, ie being a new person in Christ, does not eradicate my old self.  I am still the same person who had been afflicted with some kind of manufactured autism, anti-social tendencies, a tongue that cut people into half and the same person who came out of these when Jesus Christ came into my heart.

I could not claim however, I have become righteous except positionally.  It is Christ who made me righteous, who called me into holiness, who sees me as holy. 

Technically, I am not the same person years and years ago.  I have been saved by God's grace.  I have done some good things in the name of God--both to others and myself. 

I have loved myself so that I could also love others. Because I have been patient to myself, I also have been patient to others--though not at all times. I think this is forgivable.  God is not through with me yet. As it is written, I am changed from one glory to another.

I have also been kind to myself,  so I would learn to be kind to others also-- though not at all situations.  I think this too,  is forgivable.  And just as I already said in the foregoing, God is not through with me yet.

I have been not arrogant, either. I know and I have tried not to, despite all the successes God gave me. I regard others, if not better... just to be different from me and thus, deserve as much respect as I do---because my father taught me, as well as my siblings, not to belittle any person.  My father said that  no matter how uneducated or lowly people maybe compared to me, they definitely know something which I don't know. Thus,  I have regarded of equal footing  every one as myself.

Further, I have tried by the grace of God to love everyone with agape love--no matter how I dislike them.  I know, however,  I have failed to do this in many instances. But God knows in my heart of hearts,  I have desired to love them and have tried, even in the poorest way one may view it, to actualise this desire.  And God who is omniscient know I always do!

Is it too much then that I expect to reap a rich reward?  I am not asking for material riches.  All I want is for all my siblings, myself  and my significant other to enjoy life together here on earth---- as it is in heaven.